Date Night

I love my new job. Really, I do. Although I’m starting to find that, much like my monthly cycle, the stress builds up and comes in waves once a month. I’ve been walking on eggshells at work much like one would around their PMSing girlfriend. Quite frankly, I’m frazzled this week. I’m sipping a glass of wine at the Eden Bar, though I use the word ‘sipping’ loosely. More or less, I’m sloshing it past my tongue the second the glass hits my lips and hoping that the few patrons that have trickled in aren’t thinking that I’m really as unrefined as I look. It’s been far too long since I’ve had a date night with myself.

I shot a text to the boyfriend, telling him that we should grab dinner and a movie here one night. The outdoor Eden Bar has a great happy hour for being the sidekick to the Enzian Theater. Though they might be attached, their offerings of $2 Miller Light and $5 glasses of wine are too good to pass up before catching your swanky indie flick, which is precisely what brings me here. Tonight’s feature is Blue Valentine, a film that has gotten rave reviews by critics as well as my peers for really capturing the essence of a breakup. This is what brings me here alone.

As mentioned before, I haven’t spent much time to myself. Not that I mind the current state that I’m in- hell, if you would have told me three months ago that I would be blowing off late nights at concerts in lieu of early nights in snuggled up on the couch with a guy that digs me as much as I do him, I would have promptly laughed and called you a silly bitch. But with working, roller derby, and the boyfriend taking up the last of my time, there is barely a crumb of it left to take care of household duties and (the most important thing of them all) myself. This week has made it all too obvious.

To be honest, I don’t think I could have picked a better place or time. It was a pleasant surprise to know that I get a discounted ticket because of my new title at Full Sail. However, there are even more pressing perks. There is a soft, cool breeze pushing through the droopy clumps of Spanish moss, a fountain churns the gentle sound bubbling water to mix with the classic rock coming over the speakers. The service is friendly, the bar is slowly starting to fill, and the six o’clock hour could not be more perfect.

What’s even more enchanting is the fact that here I sit at an outdoor café table dreamily hitting the keys of a laptop- something that I don’t find myself doing too much anymore these days as well. I can’t blame a lack of inspiration. Rather, any time I find myself near a computer, a tablet of paper, or even eager to punch away at my iPhone screen, I’m preoccupied. I’m swept away by the next text message, the next project at work, the next alluring look in my boyfriend’s eyes. Usually I’m composed and planned out yet lately I’ve been flighty.

The most comforting part is that I’ve not been beating myself up over living in the moment just a little bit more.

And after all, I really shouldn’t have to.

Bucket (List) of Blood

Ah, October is upon us! And how to start everyone's favorite month to dress up as a slut or act like a pervert than with some monsters and mayhem! Last Saturday (see the prior post) turned out to be quite the spontaneous adventure…

I had the opportunity to catch Gwar performing at Club Firestone- a place I usually avoid at all costs unless it's a band that I like playing (usually 3 times a year). Since I am a huge fan of any hard rock genre, Gwar is a band that I've known for years even though I've never really listened to their stuff. They just happen to be one of those bands that makes your bucket list- their shows are legendary, and even if they don't ever make it to your iPod they are still a band you know you have to see at some point in your life. I made arrangements with a friend that was offering some free tickets, grabbed an old white t-shirt, and met up with my photographer friend Megan Schutz. She was all kinds of excited when she heard what we were doing before catching Night of the Living Dead at the Enzian Theater later.

Within the first 3 minutes of the band taking the stage, I was frozen in place with my jaw agape and my eyelids glued to my forehead. I couldn’t turn away! The split second that I did, a man either was decapitated by someone else or at his own expense, and by the time I looked back to the stage he was already spurting blood from his carotid artery onto the masses. Damn it. After I told Megan a few times that I couldn’t tell if I was genuinely scared (I wasn’t sober at the time) or if I was entertained, I grabbed her hand and we meandered around the side of the crowd and snuck into the front. There we were sprayed by the headless man, followed by something that looked like a mutant pig fetus.

I'm a firm believer in freedom of speech, so even when Oderus Urungus was proclaiming that an on-stage Sarah Palin shouldn't be in politics, but rather his own personal fucktoy, I couldn't really be offended. I knew what I was getting myself into when I went to this show; it would be as ludicrous to be upset over seeing Marilyn Manson tear a Bible up on stage- you know it's bound to happen! Even though I'm a firm believer in gender equality and I'm not a fan of Palin whatsoever, I kept my cheers (and jeers) to myself and watched in stunned amusement. This is why you go to this show to begin with, right? He then went on to chainsaw her in half, rip her severed hips and legs away from her spinal column, and she gushed blood all over the delighted audience.

Fortunately, I don't think that the people at a Gwar show are taking themselves too seriously. Most people who are watching a bunch of men pushing 50 wearing ripped fishnet stockings and spraying an overzealous crowd with faux bodily fluids aren't- if they were, they'd be running for the nearest free clinic. And if there are still people that are going to these shows and taking music-or anything- in its literal sense, then they are more impressionable than originally thought, and should be avoided at all costs. That’s how we could have avoided such events in history like Jonestown, duh.






Sadly, we had to leave about 30 minutes into the show to make it to the Enzian in time. This was the aftermath.






It ended up not being Night of the Living Dead that stuck with me the longest. The ride to work was nearly as entertaining as the concert. I thought maybe it would have been funnier to see a Kardashian ripped apart since a few years ago they killed off Paris Hilton, and then I started to think of all of the other catchy celebs that Gwar could mutilate on stage... That chick that can’t act from Twilight? Ke$ha? The entire cast of Jersey Shore? And then I found myself at work muttering to myself every time I hit the Send button on another email, "Now there's someone I would have liked to see get chainsawed in half on stage." Even better was when something went awry in the office and my initial solution to the problem was to rip someone’s head off and spray blood everywhere.

Run.

They're Coming to Get You, Heather!!

Its that’s special time of the year here in central Florida: that time where nature can’t decide to take the plunge from sweltering hot to what us Floridians call ‘freezing’. Mother Nature is a child teetering on the edge of a pool, dipping their toe into the water before building up the courage to commit. Someone needs to walk by and push this bitch in.

Right now it’s a comfortable upper-sixties-something, and I have the A/C off and the windows open. Soon it will be back to the lower 80’s this afternoon, and my friends will start seeing who wants to carpool to the beach. 80-degree weather and pumpkin-flavored everything? Gotta love Florida in October! However, I should have gone home to New Smyrna Beach to take advantage of this last weekend I’ve got free of any predetermined plans but I’ve been running back there nearly every weekend for the last 5 or 6 weeks. I can’t remember the last time I went to Backbooth for Midnight Mass. The last time I went to Independent Bar with the usual group was probably around the last time I actually folded the laundry after getting it out of the dryer…

Either way, the fact that it is already well into October has me slightly freaked out. Everything has been going by so fast, as it does when you’re completely swamped with work and plans. No complaints here: it’s been a journey nothing short of amazing and I can’t get over all that I’m accomplishing here in the last 2 or so months. I recently started writing for Drink Magazine, published by Orlando Weekly (2nd biggest newspaper here in central Florida). I’m really excited about it as a side gig, and I’ve been in the September issue for covering a few great drinks at a few great bars as well as the one for October. It’s on newsstands now, so go pick up a copy and see what my friends and I think the most overplayed Halloween costumes are before you make a costume faux pas, because NO ONE wants to do that on Halloween… But really, I hope you read and have a chuckle. All of my friends have asked how I got involved with it. I just tell them that I went to enough of the monthly launch parties hosted by Drink, and found myself telling editor Meghan that I really, really, really, really wanted to be involved. After 3 or 6 free cocktails, you can find yourself confessing any desire to anyone, as we all know.

I’m also writing for NotNorthNews.org, a site that focuses on the Florida music scene. I’m stoked about this one because, like hitting up bars around Orlando, this gig fits my lifestyle perfectly. I have a ton of things that I need to be writing for the site. I’ve done 2 short pieces so far, and I have an album review, a few interviews, and maybe an editorial on the way. Halloween weekend I’ll be up in Gainesville for The Fest 9 covering it as press, if you will, and though I’ve never been I can safely chalk it up to nonstop PBR-fueled punk rock mayhem running amok in the streets of the city.

I. Can’t. Wait.

So besides being a total workaholic and having too much housework to catch up on, I’ve found another reason to keep me in Orlando this weekend- The Enzian Theater in Winter Park is showing a midnight double-feature of King of the Zombies, followed by my favorite horror flick ever Night of the Living Dead. Both are being shown in 16mm film. What a rad way to kick off the Halloween season! Some friends are all going to be at Spooky Empire with its celebs and whatnot, but I figure by the time I’m doing all that needs getting done around here it will be midnight and thus perfect timing to catch George Romero’s debut. A little pumpkin pie gelati from Jeremiah’s right down the street, a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks, or a pumpkin beer would make this night nearly perfect.

Decisions, decisions!